Being a left-hander is not easy. Trust me on this.
I've lived with this condition, if that's the right word, for most of my life. The cool thing about being a lefty is claiming membership in a pretty eclectic club. Barack Obama is left-handed, as was Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush before him. Paul McCartney, Robert Plant, Glenn Frey, and Kurt Cobain are (or were) lefties, too. Oh, and Marilyn Monroe. Richard Pryor was, too.
But the world itself is not made by or for those of us whose brains are wired differently than the great majority of humanity. Everyday things like pencil sharpeners, scissors, and spiral notebooks are made with right-handers in mind.The next car I see with an ignition key on the left side (or for that matter, even a stick shift) will be the first one. Manual can-openers are a rare find, but I have to make like Jimi Hendrix and turn the thing upside down if it's going to do me any good.
So one day, not quite two decades ago, Burger King decided to have a little fun for April Fool's day. Back when many people still read newspapers, the company took out a full-page ad in the USA Today, announcing that a special left-handed Whopper had been created for the benefit of those who might find eating a hamburger in a right-handed manner difficult.
The Whopper's ingredients had been rotated 180 degrees, the ad informed its readers. Even the sesame seeds had been positioned, the ad claimed, to minimize their loss during consumption. It was as if the Ned Flanders Leftorium had come to life at a Burger King near you. I'm sure that Ronald McDonald was no left-hander, was he?
But it was all a hoax, in the way all good April Fool's gags are supposed to be. There are some annoyances that every lefty has to contend with, but eating a hamburger is not one of them. Using a pen with erasable ink, however, is another story altogether.
May everyone reading this get in one good April Fool's gag on somebody before they realize what day it is.